::Shit's dead anyway.::
I wish livejournal wasn't so dead!!
I miss it!!!

::What the fuck is wrong with people.::
I'm gonna go on a rant and im sure alot of people will think im just as nuts
as the person that committed this crime, but i don't believe I am nor would
i get so pissed to where I would take another life just because i don't agree
with their politics. Every now and then I get the Sunday paper.

I usually get it for the coupons, but I feel like reading it as well, but its
usually full of shit that brings people down, and its depressing. Anyhow I
guess on Saturday a 22 year old male killed 6 people and wounded others.
Of course they found his myspace page and a youtube account where he shared
his political views and of course they were left nor right views, so they
made him look like a total crazy loony tune. From what I read this guy has
started to question what is going on in todays world and the political views
that are basically crammed down our throats, unless you seek alternative information.

All I have to say about this is that its not just this one person they are
making out to be insane but basically all of us that question anything.
This person only thought he would be heard and noticed if he killed people.
I do not condone what he did at all.

Did anybody else hear about this, and what do you think? Only reason i
just found out is because i got the paper. I try not to watch any news
channels, and if i do i will watch a little msnbc, but for sure not fox!

::Wa Boosh.::
Goddamn, cleaning and rearranging is kinda fun, and lame at the same time. For people that
dont know me and my brother live at my grandmas house. She lives with my aunt in seymour.
She has been trying to sell the house since summer. No luck. Anyhow someone is coming to
look at it tomorrow. I've been cleaning and moving stuff around. What would suck is if it
did sell this time of year because trying to move in the winter sucks. Plus I dont have money
saved up to get my own place yet.

Also i dont wanna move to seymour where I work until I get hired full time. I'll be damned if
I moved to another small town and then get laid off. Cause the only reason I would be moving
there is for my job. And even then I would be further away from my daughter. I know everything
will work out.

::Onward, we move!::
I wish/want to be consumed by something constructive and enjoying. I know we all grow up, and things change and have less time to do things, but i really want to be involved with a project that is worth my time, and something that I could stand back and look at what I have created.

:Day 5.::
Here at covance until next Thursday. The past 2 days have been tedious. Having to sit/lay in bed most of the day. I mean yes I am getting paid, but im bored as shit. I brought my xbox and everything thinking I would play alot of games. I've had it on for maybe a total of an hour. So I got up out of bed and came into the "social" rooms of the unit, and no one is out here, which is awesome. Cause I like to have areas to myself at times, and plus its not dark in here like the room is.

Can't wait to get out though. I've plans and ideas of doing new stuff, and doing stuff that was hard to do when I was smoking cigarettes. Gonna finally start working out and running. For myself I didnt want to do that while smoking it just seemed like an oxymoron.

::Home Away From Home.::
So today started kinda rocky. Got a call from covance saying that I didn't get selected for the $6,500 study. So that put a little turtle on my day. About an hour later they call me back and tell me someone dropped out, so now I get to go down to Evansville chill play games, blog, play games, and get paid. This time I will be taking my xbox with me just to make time go by a little faster. I have a few games that I need to catch up on. I started Alan Wake a week or so before it came out, played the hell out of it for a few days and haven't played it since.

I'm really into mlb 2k10. I love baseball so damn much. I really wish I would have practiced more and played harder when I was young. Cause now with age I understand working hard and dedication really will pay off. Of course when we are young we think we have everything figured out already.

Anyhow everything is pretty sweet as of right now.

::Shine On.::
I'm starting to feel a little bit better now. All day today was straight depression and it sucked. I hate feeling that way. My brain overflows with all types of shit. Kid stuff bad stuff, every damn thing. There are times when I do think about how life would have been if i would just have gone with the program and wasn't myself.

All I can do is raise my daughter to be herself, but not to the point to where you get kicked out of school for stupid crap like I did. I'm not sure how things will end up turning out with me and Renae. Right now not so good, all because of my demons. After Madi was born all I wanted was for us all to be a happy family. I don't want madi growing up with parents in different households, but if that's how its gotta be then so be it.

::Truth Is Hard, Guilt Is Easy.::
I feel like what I did have together in my life is falling apart. I hate this feeling of pain, sorrow, and depression. I'm fucking 27 and still do not have shit together. I dont want to go through life not having anything together. I feel like my life for the most part has been a puzzle with only corner pieces. Im not looking for pity or anything from anyone. I just wanted to type my feelings out. I write alot as of lately but I wasnt in the mood.

Listening to the same depressing music that i was listening to 4 years ago. fuck it!

Writer's Block: Family Is…
What does family mean to you?

In one word. EVERYTHING!

::Moon over Marin!::
Haven't been on LJ in for goddamn ever. Now that I have used twitter, and think about livejournal. Live journal is way better if you want to post pictures and things like that. I hate the fact that on twitter it post's the link to the picture. I don't have a cellphone, and I know
that a lot of people have to have social networking groups at fingers reach. So therefore makes
Twitter a good tool, which is what it is a damn "tool".

I miss being a dork and posting on here all the time like I use to when i was 16. I can't say that things are out of control and busy with me, but have a 15 month old baby does make things
really busy and hectic at times. She is the most beautiful little being in the world. I am proud
to be a parent.

Me and the lady are preparing to buy our first house. It's a damn good deal. Just needs a little work, but im good at remodeling and stuff like that. I hope to do a study that pays almost $7,000. All that money will go towards remodeling.

On other news everyone should check out daytrotter.com if you are into the same kind of music that I am. Anyway/anyhow I hope everyone is doing well!!!


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